Public Defense

Christmas Socks (or Stupid Courtroom Moments, Vol. 2)

I can't even begin to tell you all of the stupid things I've said or done in the courtroom. Here's one of them:

Each year our judge hosts a holiday party for the attorneys and personnel who work in our courtroom. Last year, he gave out gag gifts to everyone. My gag gift was a pair of bright red Christmas socks which have a mechanism that, when pressed, not only lights up, but also plays Christmas songs.

My wife and I found them again this year when we were unpacking our Christmas decorations. I thought it would be fun to wear them on the day of this year's Christmas party.

At the beginning of the morning session, when it was just the attorneys and courtroom personnel in the courtroom, I lifted up my suit pant leg to show everyone the socks and play a song or two. Everyone got a good laugh and that should have been the end of the socks.

It wasn't.

Later on, I appeared in a hearing before a magistrate. In our system, each judge has a magistrate who takes evidence in progress hearings and makes recommendations to the judge. We hold these hearings in a small side room barely bigger than a broom closet.

In the middle of the hearing, I absent-mindedly brushed my leg up against a chair leg, thereby activating the sock. As "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" started to play, everyone started looking around, wondering where the music was coming from. Clinging to the last bit of hope that I might somehow escape without everyone knowing it was me, I looked around too. My client was the first to say out loud what everyone was thinking: "What is that?"

The magistrate, who was only slightly more amused than annoyed, turned to my client and said, "It's your attorney's sock."

Needless to say, I was a little bit embarrased. At least I gave everyone a good laugh.

[Post Script: This was indeed, the same client who had, only moments earlier, made a love connection in lock-up.]

posted by Public Defense @ 12/16/2005